★ NOT AVAILABLE IN STORES ★ ACT NOW ★ OPERATORS ARE STANDING BY (in a pond) ★ DUCK LEVELS AT ALL-TIME HIGH ★ YES, IT WAS ON THE CLUE SHELF — NO, IT WAS NOT A CLUE ★ 90 MINUTES TO ESCAPE, 90 YEARS TO REHOME ★ THE PADLOCK OPENED. THE DUCK LEFT WITH YOU. ★ IF YOU CAN READ THIS YOU HAVE ALREADY POCKETED ONE ★ GAME MASTERS HATE THIS ONE SIMPLE TRICK ★ SOME SAY THE DUCK WAS THE FINAL PUZZLE ALL ALONG ★ WE CANNOT LEGALLY CALL IT A HOSTAGE SITUATION ★ BATTERIES NOT INCLUDED, DUCK NOT OPTIONAL ★
Public Service Announcement · Do Not Ignore

Have you
seen this
duck?

Small. Resin. Approximately 1cm of unblinking confidence. Last documented at your nearest escape room, sitting beside a padlock it had nothing to do with. If one has since appeared on your desk, windowsill, or inside a shoe — you may have an infestation.

Report a duck → Free. Always was. Suspiciously so.
Wanted
duck mugshot
800 × 800
Height1 cm
WeightEmotional
ThreatAdorable
Last seenYour escape room
Now seenYour pocket
⚠ Duck sightings up 400% this quarter ⚠
Section 01 — Diagnosis

Do you have
a duck problem?

Tick every symptom you have observed in the last 30 days. Our patented DUCK-O-METER™ will assess your business immediately and at no cost to you.

Duck-O-Meter™0 / 5
All clear (for now)
No action required. Remain vigilant near puzzles.
Section 02 — Containment Protocol

If you find a duck,
do these three things

01

Give it a name

A nameless duck is a liability. Say it out loud once. Do not overthink it — "Gerald" has a 94% success rate.

Technical diagram of a yellow resin duck beside a name tag reading Gerald, annotated with measurement arrows.
02

Put it in your pocket

Left pocket. Right pocket. We don't discriminate. Coat pockets are considered temporary housing and must be reported.

pocket diagram
03

Take it home

Containment is complete. The duck now lives with you. This is not reversible and no refunds are available, mainly because you paid nothing.

duck at home
Do not attempt to return the duck to the escape room. The game master has seen this before and has stopped counting.
Section 03 — Unpaid Testimonials*

Real people. Real ducks.
Reasonably real quotes.

"I found one duck in March. I now have nine and a small shelf. Ten out of ten."
Marjorie H.
Escaped 9 rooms, kept 9 ducks
"I named mine Gerald and my commute has never been better. My landlord disagrees."
Dev P.
Pocket carrier, tier 2
"The newsletter arrives every Thursday whether or not I have a duck. I have a duck."
Anonymous
Witness protection
*Testimonials were paid in ducks.
Section 04 — Field Report

Report a
sighting

Every sighting is logged, mapped, and then largely ignored by our team of one. Reports are reviewed within 6–8 pond weeks.

Filed this month 2,481 of which 2,480 were "it's very small"
How many ducks?